How long to wait before dating again
Are you actively involved in each others’ lives as “friends”? How long was the relationship failing before you broke up?
You feel like the best way to get you over this breakup is to fall head over heels all over again. Go into each date with the mindset of just having fun, getting your mind off your ex and moving on for the evening, no other expectations.
To best heal your breakup wounds, you should avoid doing the following (we know, they’re tempting as hell), and opt for the less appealing, but healthier options: You just lost a guy who gave you constant attention, affection and care.
Every minute your phone doesn’t light up with his name, or every time you look at his social media, it makes you want to jump on the next guy who even glances your way to fill this void.
The only “right” answer is “whenever it feels right, as long as you’re not hurting anybody else.” The thing is: you might be surprised when you’re hurting someone else. The best example I can provide is from my own life. To me, it was the equivalent of being fired from a job. I was in no position to be a boyfriend to anyone but my beloved ex-girlfriend. My need to move on superseded her need to be with an emotionally available guy…. If so – if you’ve mourned, if you’ve healed, if you’ve made peace – then you’re ready whenever you say you’re ready.
You don’t sit around for six months waiting to heal. On the other hand, there are a completely different set of emotions surrounding a break-up. Well, it pretty much meant that I got back on JDate, found myself a cool girl a few hours later and was hooking up with her shortly thereafter. Three years later, we’re still friends and grab dinner once a month. This pattern, by the way, continued for a few months (and a few more women), until I was truly and finally “over” my ex. You need to be “over” someone in order to be able to date. When you’re reeling from a break-up, all you can do is RECEIVE. I remember reading once upon a time that people need half the length of the relationship to heal properly. Great blog Evan, I think you are right, you might feel like you want to be in someone elses company, but it´s just not fair on the other person.